January 2023

The road was slippery wet.
And I was trying to forget.
Their views.
Their news.
This heavy grind.
When the other car hit me from behind. 

It was likely a matter of an inch.
Sheer matter of luck that I did not flinch.
He skids.
He hits.
He goes airborne.
My panicked hands are glued to the car’s horn.

His car tears through a metal pole.
I feverishly try to avoid the same toll.
He’s manic.
I panic.
He crashes.
My entire life shows up in flashes. 

I helplessly start yelling for my mother.
Skidding to the wall, just like the other.
I tremble with fear.
I can no longer see or hear.
I slam the breaks to stop.
Bracing myself for a really loud pop.

My car miraculously comes to a halt.
Was that crash any of my fault?
Wait, am I even alive?
Did I even survive?
My mind is playing games.
Is the other car really bursting in flames?

I find my phone to frantically call 911.
I tell them the other guy is likely done.
Ambulance and cops are now at the scene.
I hear them call for the ‘jaws of life’ machine.
This confirms the other driver is dead.
He lays motionlessly in a ditch, they said.

“Miracle” is a word the cops also repeatedly say.
“Whoah man! today has to be your luckiest day.”
“But how fast were you driving lad?”
“And how many drinks have you had?”
Luckily, I had zero drinks that night.
I also had a dash cam to record the sight.

My car is now prime evidence.
Thankfully, the video proved my innocence.
We eventually tow my car.
My family doesn’t live too far.
But I insist they take me home to my bed.
It is already familiar with the tears I know I will shed.

I lay thinking about the stranger who passed.
I weep thanking all the blessings I have amassed.
Who was he?
What about his family?
Was he drunk or did he fall asleep?
What did I sow? and what did he reap?

Days later, the crash video still constantly plays in my head.
His clipping me, crashing into the wall, and being dead.
Thankful for my life.
But fearful of any strife.
Sleepless nights, the new norm.
But honestly, my eyes are just tired of this emotional storm.

I know I came very close to possibly dying.
Shock, gratitude, shock—my thoughts are still flying.
That dead body in the ditch could as easily be me.
This thought hasn’t, for a moment, left me free.
And who actually saved me that rainy night?
My luck? My karma? My faith? Or my angel mother’s light?